A disturbing whisper is being heard emanating from the upper reaches of the Universal record label. I believe this whisper is destined to swell to a rumour before being categorically denied three times - a sure sign of an official announcement of its truth. The whisper is that there is to be another iteration of The Three Tenors. No matter who the tenors in question may be (Juan Diego Florez*, Jonas Kaufmann and Rolando Villazon* are being mentioned) this idea stinks.
Actually the original idea stank too. And don't try and tell me how wonderful it was that Pavarroti, Domingo and Carreras dedicated their voices to bringing opera out of fancy houses where elitism ruled to share it with the public. The nasty truth is that they, their management and record label saw an opportunity to make huge amounts of money while expending a minimum amount of effort and money. The boys could just turn up at a stadium in time to do a sound check and begin counting the moolah. Rehearsal? What, to sing Maria from West Side Story and Memories from Cats? Gimme a break.
The trouble is that when someone in a position of wealth and/or power has an idea nobody has the intestinal fortitude to say 'No' to them. So when Britney Spears said "Let's go driving! I've only had one bottle of Kristal, a couple shots of Hennessey and I don't have time to put on underwear..." there was a deafening chorus of "Great idea Britney!!" instead of "Waddya nuts?" In the same vein when Leonard Bernstein thought it would be an excellent idea to record a quasi-operatic version of West Side Story someone at Universal said "That's wonderful, Mr B We can get Kiri Te Kanawa to sing Maria and Carreras to sing Tony. Brilliant!" A real friend would have said is "Lenny. Lennnnyyyy...baby. You wanna have a Spanish-speaking guy to sing Tony, the All-American boy who is hated by the other gang 'cos he's not Hispanic? That's not irony, Lenny. That's crazy! You wrote a Broadway masterpiece; why do you want to make it a third-rate opera?" No one said that. The result was a disaster. You don't say?
And if the idea of the original Three Tenors wasn't bad enough, there followed Three Mo' Tenors, an African-American iteration of the idea. Some of you think I am making jest in poor taste. Nope. There really is such an act. And as if that weren't bad enough, while there are only three singers per show there are alternating casts so it's really Six Mo' Tenors. Actually, it doesn't stop there because singers drop out and are replaced so there have been Eleven Mo' Tenors.
But now, lessons having not been learned and history being destined to repeat itself, as you read this there is very possibly someone sitting in a Universal executive office saying words to this effect: "Florez can do Pavarroti. He already knows that 'high c's' thing from whatever-that-opera-was right? And Kaufmann is perfect for Domingo! Great looks - nothing too faggy, women love him. And Villazon can do Carreras. He's been ill, yes? So was Carreras. Vocal quality is a bit iffy but he'll get the sympathy vote. This cannot fail!"
This week's picture is of three baritones I happened upon in Jake's this week. I have signed them up. Maybe I can have them open for Florez and the boys. Don't say you weren't warned.
Have you noticed how every now and then a shot of Gilbert and Sullivan is just what you need to lift your spirits? And how Rowlf and Sam the Eagle from the Muppet Show are totally irresitible? From there it is just a very short hop to "What if Rowlf and Sam were to do G&S?"
Gentle readers, I bring you -
On another cheery topic, Philip Glass was interviewed on WNYC.org and that interview is available as a podcast. Now I must admit I am not a great fan of Mr Glass' oeuvre but when he said for all the world to hear that his favourite romantic song is Blue by Joni Mitchell his personal stock rose in my estimation by about 200 points. I prefer A Case of You by Joni, but hey, that's just a matter of details about which civilised people may have a difference of opinion. Listen to the interview. Skip the one with Alice Waters.
It's almost peach season, people! You may expect my recipe for a delicious peach pie to appear here as soon as those wonderful White Peaches are perfectly ripe, juicy and available at the Farmer's Market. In the mean time, keep having Summer fun.
*My system is playing up and won't let me do accents.
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